Monday, June 19, 2006

Thoughts...Ramblings...

So my friend Nina had a great post on her thread. She spent a meal with strangers and before she left she had made some great connections. Turned out a lot of the people around her were from a small town she was born in. Small world.

Got me thinking though. About making connections. Not being afraid to open up to other people. Some people have that gift. Others don't. I have the great gift of gab. I can small talk with the best of them. But I have an inability to make lasting connections with people. To open yourself up to another person for viewing isn't something I do.

I love talking with peeps on the BB Boards. But I get scared when it comes down to meeting them face to face. I am not sure why that is. I have backed out of many BB get togethers for a couple of reasons. Number one always being about the money. Number two always being about the fear. I was an extremely quiet shy kid. Always afraid of people not liking me. Now that I am not quiet or shy I guess I still have those feelings of not being liked. So I tend to stay with the internet world. I don't meet people face to face. With one exception. Nina has actually come to my house. It's like she knew that I couldn't bring myself to meet my friends on the boards. She came to me. I'm glad she did because now I have a great face and a wonderful smile to put with all of her posts. It added another level of knowledge. I'm grateful she took the time to search me out, even if it was for only a couple hours. It was fun to workout together.

Now I am in a position where I might be able to go to a TurboCamp. It sounds like fun. But again I find myself scared. I haven't committed. I'm still waiting on a settlement from an insurance company from a car accident I was in last year. But if that comes through in the next few weeks I would have the money to go. All I would need to find would be a roomy. And I would have to get over this stupid anxiety I have about meeting people. I love people. I love to talk to people. Why am I so afraid to meet people I already know?

Sounds like a job for a shrink. :)

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On another note. My hubby was out of town this weekend and I went to town on my house. I'm so proud of myself. I painted and decorated. My house looks like it has been staged. No more clutter. Color on the walls, pictures hung, shelves hung and decorated. Oh My! I am so sore, but it is such a great feeling to walk downstairs and see a beautiful room!

I'm going to have to take some pictures to show. I'm so happy!

4 comments:

web said...

So, you don't want to meet a bunch of Internet people. That's not fear. It's common sense. Have you SEEN some of the people on the BB boards? ; )

KellyC_bb said...

To open yourself up to another person for viewing isn't something I do.
Uhhhh yeah. Couldn't have said it better myself.

You're in the position to go to camp, eh? Damn, man, suck up the fear and DO IT.
If the financials were here, I'd be suckin' it up and DOING IT.

And by the way, sooo glad to hear you finally got that paint going! It must feel great to walk around in there . . . I bet you can't stop looking :0)

KellyC_bb said...

Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.

William Shakespeare

Neeeena said...

yeah. What KELLYC said.


:)


I imagine camp will be a good place to have a great experience getting to know a LOT of people all at once but only getting PERSONAL with yourself, you know?
I hope you decide to go, the energy will be off the HOOK!