Monday, April 12, 2010

Everything will be just fine...

This is my mantra for the day.

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel so frustrated, angry, hurt and unappreciated?  That would be my day today.  I was so frustrated I ended up sending my boss an e-mail.  He won't see it or respond to it for a couple weeks because he's on vacation.  That is good.  Maybe by the time he reads and responds I'll be in a better frame of mind.  Don't get me wrong, normally I love my job and everyone I work with.  Some days it's just not that way.

I'm trying to focus on the positives, because there are many, many positives to my job.  I'm sitting at my desk listening to some great music Citizen King and eating a lovely salad left over from last night with lots of veggies and feta cheese. YUMM.  So life isn't all bad right?

I have my health.  I have my workouts to get the frustrations out AND I have an amazing friend who understands me and is bringing me some more tunes to listen to as I crunch and aggregate data! Which is such a fun part of my job...not. :) But in order to get funding to do the fun things I have to write grants! Bleh.

I also have a great hubby who sent me a nice e-mail saying I had every right to be angry and that the e-mail I sent was well written and not at all "bitchy" like I had thought. Whew.  I don't want to be bitchy.  I just want to let people know how I feel and what could be better. Is that so wrong?

Yummy carrots...Sorry, just took another big bite! Did I tell you I put cilantro in it also?  I love cilantro in a salad!  Who needs dressing when you have salt, pepper, cilantro & feta? Ok, maybe a touch of lemon juice then it's perfect!

It is Monday.  Maybe that has a little to do with my frustration level.  Let me think about that for a moment...Nope. It doesn't. :)  I woke up in a fine mood.

I started thinking about why people (me) are not doing the things that make us (me) truly happy?  Is it fear? Is it lack of ability? For me that would be a yes! I can't sing a lick and I love to sing! lol! Seriously, ask anyone who's heard me sing.  It's a sad, sad thing.  It lifts my spirits and makes me happy that is until I see the person sitting next to me in the car staring at me like I've grown two heads.

So what else do I enjoy doing? What would I love to do for the rest of my life if I could choose what it is I want to do?  I love to read.  I inhale literature as if it's the air I breath. Not sure if I could make a living sitting on my butt reading but that would be nice. :)

Cooking.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE cooking.  This is something I wish, really wish I could do for a living.  The mixing of innocent ingredients to bring together something that is amazing!  I love to go to my fridge and pantry and pull things out and create.  Recipes are just guidelines. I open spices and smell them.  Then decide if they will go into what ever I am making.  The working of everything, down to the timing of getting a complete meal done all at the same time is something I love.  The best gift for me would be something related to cooking.  And while I don't necessarily follow cookbooks, I love to read them!  Hey, that just combined my two loves! No wonder I love cookbooks! I just realized that! lol.

I used to decorate cakes for a living.  That was enjoyable.  But I don't care for cake so it was odd.  I guess I never felt enticed to indulge in my creations.  I did have to taste the frosting for consistency and flavor. Bleh. Butter cream frosting is so ucky.  It coats the tongue and the throat.  The feeling does not go away quickly either, it just lingers.  Now I'm gaging myself!

So, what makes you happy? If you could do anything in the world and make a living at it what would it be?  Are you doing your dream job? Or would you just enjoy doing nothing at all (which sounds like bliss for a full 30 minutes then the ADHD kicks in!)

Let me know. :)


Gwyn said...

Everything will be just fine! (Pass the carrots, please!)

leannwoo said...

You didn't respond to my question though...what would you do? Never mind. I know where you'd go, at least a few places you'd go and what you would do there. No response needed!

Gwyn said...

You're right! I didn't answer the question. Sorry! I was too busy doing the job that pays my mortgage rather than what I would LOVE to be doing! school in Italy...nature photography....

leannwoo said...

My first thought was art school anywhere! Italy being first. :) Hawaii as your home though. I would take little cooking classes not an actual Chef school. I don't want that stress. :)